(Your guide to surviving this cruel game called life)

Summer's over! Or didn't you notice? Yes, that nice week we had back in July? That was summer. I *TOLD* you it would last a week, and that's it!

Well, things are gearing up for school again. Fall weather is getting the head start on us, and soon enough the ole Sear's Christmas Wish Book will come crashing upon your doorstep.

School. For the under 18s, it's regular school. For the 18s - 25s, it's university, trades college, what have you. For the rest, it's life.

So how exactly DOES one survive this cruel game called life? Sometimes it'll throw you a curve, and you'll catch it square in the nose, but so what. All in all, things can go smoothly. Just follow some basic rules...

  1. If it seems like a hassle, it IS a hassle. Handle it accordingly. If you can put it off, do so, otherwise, pawn it off on someone else.
  2. When in doubt, go with what you know. For example, if you find yourself having to derive a few long-form quadratics, you KNOW 1+1=2, so go with 2! (You won't get very far, but you'll be happier)
  3. Look out for number 1. That Riker can be a pest sometimes.
  4. Sleep is the great healer (especially for insomniacs).
  5. Microwave experimenting can be a fun diversion in a hectic day.
  6. To quote the immortal Buckaroo Bansai, "No matter where you go... there you are."
  7. You've got to know when to hold 'em... know when to fold 'em. You've got to know when to walk away... and know when to run. You never count your money, when you're sittin' at the table. There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealings done.
  8. When you run out of things to say, quote Kenny Rogers.
  9. Remember : The walrus is an underrated animal.
  10. The only person you can really trust is yourself. If you can't even do that, go into sales.

That's about it... have fun an all, and remember the basics. If you can't do that, try LOGO or FORTRAN.